Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I'm a No Lifer

Today is part two of fuck you series. This one is about how the saying "no lifer" is like saying "the sky is blue". Duh I don't have a life, neither does the daddy and I don't know about him but I really don't care anymore. Yes I'm broke, yes I spend a lot of time on the computer, and the xbox and on netflix because I'm home. I don't have anywhere to go and even if I had millions of dollars I would still be home. See what most people don't realize is that I have to stay home for my sanity. There are to many unknowns out there, lighting and sound, waiting and people. But what does that all mean? To mean it means when I step foot in a store that doesn't have natural lighting I can find myself with a child that is wigged out by the sound the light is making, by the color is sends out to his brain. Wait are you saying to yourself that you can't hear lights? Ever hear that very low hum from a florescent light? That is the sound that can completely make my normally insane child even more insane. You know the minor clacking of dishes at a restaurant? That sends him under the table where he refuses to eat. After a few times like that I just stopped wanting to go. Its not fun anymore, and I know he's not enjoying himself so why bother?

A few years ago right after Racer got the Dx of autism we took the kids to Knotts Berry Farm. There are two sets of pictures, one where it looks like we are all having fun and the other where there is total chaos and meltdowns. I vowed after that I would never ever force myself or Racer to endure that sort of family fun madness until he was ready. I can't even take him to public restrooms without him freaking out about the sound of the flushing toilet., I think I've seen enough tears in the stalls of the restroom with my child begging me not to flush the toilet to know I should just stay home. So I stay home and I'm a no lifer! And I'm ok with that. But to use that term to insult me or my family! Well lets just say be lucky that I'd rather not go to jail for stupid ignorant people.

I suppose in the long run I'm saving myself lots of money right? We've gotten used to waiting for Netflix to get the new movies, lost weight from not eating out as often, and who wants to stand in long lines at Disneyland?

But please don't use my life choice to insult me because it only shows that you don't pay attention to anyone else but yourself. And I guess that's ok because if you don't understand my child then you weren't really that important to me in the first place and I was wrong for thinking that you were.


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