When I'm Gone

Yesterday was my birthday.....

As the day came to a end, I looked at my children, I realized that while I won't live forever...that I need to live forever. 

I need to live forever because who is going to love my babies like I do? Who is going to take care of Racer and watch over him? Who can I trust to do what I do when I'm gone? So many times we see in the news about abuse on special needs children and adults. There is no tolerance in society for the differences my children carry. The proof is in the pudding folks...telling myself that "it will be fine, something will work itself out" doesn't cut it anymore.

Getting old has become depressing, I'm racing against the clock to put into place a fool proof plan for the future of my children. Making lots of money to make sure they have no worries isn't enough. I need to find that person who is my clone, who will be there the day that I am not. 

It isn't fair to look to my older children, because while Racer, Wolverine and PigPen aren't a burden....they are life changers. I don't want my older children to feel like this is something they have to do. I want them to be able to lead full lives. 

While Racer may be able to function in society, he is always going to need help, that will never change. So who does that? Who takes my place when I'm gone?

Yoohoo!...I'll Make You Famous

So here we are, another day another blog. Its been a busy few weeks I have tons of ideas floating around in my head. Real life drama going on through the interwebs....twitter trolls harassing me and friends. If it wasn't so funny it would be annoying. I mean how many times can you tell someone that they are wrong?

Any who.....in feeling like a minor or back in high school, I have gone to some dark places on twitter. Some of which I am proud of and some of which I am not. In any case it should be known that I will defend myself and my friends till the very end. 

Yes I know what your saying to yourself "Lisa...why not block them?" "Why engage them?" Well here is the thing, I have blocked them, and I have ignored them. Then the day comes along and the damn bursts and I just can't help myself. Plus do you know how easy it is to just get unblocked?....all you have to do is delete the account. That's it...delete and then come back and all those people who blocked you, well those blocks are gone. There have been way to many accounts created in order to mess with all of us, and here's the thing, its not ever going to stop. Even after the law has done what it needs to and all is said and done, there are still going to be crazed trolls who want to just spew hate and lies.

Soooo, now to the point of the blog. It had come to my attention that there was a blog out there showcasing some of my greatest hits, or shall we say tweets. lol  To those that know me won't be shocked, to those that wonder why I would say such things you would have to ask the blog owner. Whoever posts them just posts the tweets out of context and no explanation as to why I said what I said. Its funny almost...so YOOHOO

The Truth About A4CWSN

lol let them know the Queen of Vile sent you.

NickToons Monsuno ~~New Show!

In this house we watch a lot of cartoons. You can't ask me what the latest political polls are or who's even up for voting....BUT I can tell you the newest cartoons that are coming out. That's just how we roll here and tonight the YuckMouths will be watching Monsuno!

Imagine it like a beefed up version of  other monster battled cartoons and you've got Monsuno! It airs tonight on NickToons at 8pm ET and every following Thursday at 8:30pm ET.

After visiting the NickToons Monsuno webpage I pulled together some info about the show for you. It really has something for everyone in the family. Even the YuckMouth daddy is interested in watching it!

Overview:

About “Monsuno”Millions of years ago, “Monsuno,” a living DNA, hitched a ride to Earth in a concentrated asteroid pocket. When it landed on Earth, the impact drove the dinosaurs into extinction. The “Monsuno” DNA lay dormant until a scientist named Jeredy Suno activated it, sending a rippling wave of movement back into action. By doing so, Jeredy may have reignited the end of the world but he also created its salvation, the “Monsuno” monsters. Now, it’s up to his son Chase to learn the secrets of “Monsuno” and help save the world from impending destruction. ). In the 52-episode series, the fate of the world lies in the hands of a group of

heroic kids who wrestle with the power to command and battle creatures called “Monsuno.” 

Information found on http://nicktoons.nick.com/shows/monsuno/

I will definitely be following up to let you all know how the YuckMouth kids liked the show!!

Hope you all can tune in tonight!

The Flu...or Did We All Just Become Zombies?

These are my children

This is what happens in this house when we get the flu

This is me and the hubs....of all of us he didn't get the flu.

He looks like a great guy right? I can imagine he felt a lot like this though

That by the way is out of our favorite zombie movies

Anyways....

Armed with tissues and trash bags he was the big hero. Because no one wants to have to deal with this

Mommy Guilt

It was about two weeks ago, we were walking home from school and crossing the park when I saw the sign. I got kinda giddy and smiled and announced to the kids "who wants to play baseball?" They all looked at me like I was crazy. But come on!! How cute would my kids look in a baseball uniform?!! Priceless right?! Except that happiness came at a price of $80 per kid.

So I sat and thought for a while, figured maybe we could just cut back on our once a week dinners out to the local hamburger place. I could sell a few jars and we could actually afford it right?!

I was excited...you see when I was younger I have fond memories of going to the park on weekends playing soccer or watching my younger brother play baseball. I wanted those kinds of memories for my kids too, park junk food  and just having fun.

Then I just sat here one night like I usually do and I was looking up youtube videos to show Racer to help explain what baseball is. We've watched it on tv a few times but I don't think he's ever put two and two together. In the background I hear the kids fight over some board game they were playing , Racer getting frustrated as usual and it hit me....the mommy guilt. I struggled with it for a week it seems, wrestled it back and forth in my head.

What is really the point of all this drive to have Racer in sports? It wasn't because he wanted to play, he's never even asked me. Hell I don't think he's ever even given it a passing thought. We are huge football players and even though Wolverine has expressed interest in playing Racers never even asked. So why was I pushing so much for this? Why was I willing to take away our dinners together for this?

It dawned on me that I needed this more then they needed this. I needed it or wanted it to feel like a normal parent. I want to feel like I fit in with the rest of the mom crowd. I've been a mom for 15yrs now, that was 9yrs of normal mommy crap before I became a parent of a special needs child. I long for the weekends at the park, pizza parties on Saturdays and gossip after I drop the kids off at school. I'm a shell of what that mom used to be. Now I am on alert, the crazed mom who can't wait to get back home after I drop them off so I can breathe, eat or even catch a nap before the lil ones wake up. I realized something about myself, that when I walk out that door I look the part of a mother who's children have special needs. Hell I can pick others out of a crowd. I used to think I wore it as a badge of honor, now its like a marker. But it makes me sad, it makes me feel alone.

So enter the mom guilt, because what the heck is wrong with me if I'm pushing crap on my kids that I want them to do. When did I lose sight of making sure they were happy, because right now they are. They don't want baseball.....but the love going to that burger joint for dinner. They love placing their orders with daddy and helping him bring the trays. They love that I let them get refills of soda on their own. That's making them happy, not weekends at the park.

I'm always going to struggle with the mommy guilt, I'm always going to want what we can't have. Maybe some where down the line Racer will want to play sports, but I want it to be on his terms not my needs.

The Character of a Business?!

As you all know I've been in the middle of a bully/name calling battle with A4CWSN. It hasn't been pretty, I haven't enjoyed myself and when all is said and done I have done what I can to be above it.  But at some point after my private info being shared online, its gone down hill from there.

I've tried to shy away from the financial aspect of it all BUT I can share with you a blog that you can get all that information from. She's done a great job of bring forward what you all need to know.

So where to start? First off, I felt a kind of personal victory the other night....think about a week ago when I saw this

I have a point here trust me....lol

Now, all that being said, I felt bad...because while I feel like a personal victory was won it was won at a cost. That night I went to bed thinking about all that has happened at this point, I slept well for the first time because I thought it was over. 

Sadly I was mistaken....The above farewell speech is very long winded and I only pulled parts of it, you can find the full version here. This is my problem...while we all thought he was gone, we carried on life. I didn't tweet the A4CWSN, I didn't @ them in any way. There was no need to until this happened.

See that tweet right there....you know the one calling me and others child porn supporters? Want to know what the hell he is talking about? Go here, because while we were all duped into thinking that JB was ok, we found out he wasn't. BUT you can also go here and see that A4CWSN had no problem taking money from him. Yet bashes us for "supporting" him.  This is what comes from the man that wants to  become a business. Not sure about you but I think I'd expect more from someone who wants to support other SN parents and expects money from others. 

I "think" I would expect them to be able to rise above it all. I "think" that if I told Coca Cola that their soda tasted like swill and it ruins people brains, they wouldn't come attack me on twitter of facebook. Hell I might be wrong but I assume that they have the ability to rise above it all.

But this is my last and final problem, this is a special needs community, brought together for the sake of our children, torn apart from the greed of one man. A man for whatever reason feels the need to threaten, defame and otherwise harass other parents for what?....boredom?

I say this because there are still major developers and companies who follow this page, who support this page. What does it speak to your character? What does it say when you say nothing? What are you saying about yourself and what you sell when you are supporting a fraud and a bully? The lies and harassment have NO END....as you can see for yourself, even after a farewell post....it doesn't end.