Saturday, October 8, 2011

The IEP from Hell

That's my two youngest boys there. They are both special needs and I love them to death, I'd walk over hot coals to get them the services they need. 

For Racer, getting help hasn't been as hard as its been getting help for Wolverine. But the need is still there, that need for services won't ever go away. 

This picture was taken on a day where my older daughter wasn't with us, on those days the boys cling to each other, they need each other. Whether they realize it or not I think deep down inside they see how different they are and that forms their closeness.

Since birth Wolverine has been different, he was my 4th born and in no way does that make me an expert but I knew he was. All babies like to be burrito wrapped, but Wolverine was at least 8 months old and still needing that wrapped feeling. He liked the dark, so I would have to put a blanket over his bassinet and he would be fine. He never craved that close comfort from either me or his dad, and only really allow me to barely hold him, he would scream and cry when Roy held him. It was odd but when we took him to the doc they said he was fine. When he was lil he was always just a little more bouncy then the rest of the kids, a little more aggressive then them as well. BUT he was my first full term boy, my oldest son was born premie so he wasn't much of a guideline as to what boys are like. 

It wasn't until school started that I thought we might have more of a problem then just the usual "boys will be boys" behavior. Kinder was a breeze for him, the teacher was stern but nice, but home life wasn't any better. The aggression was off the charts, it was almost like he knew he couldn't misbehave at school and brought it all home. I looked into all sorts of things it could possibly be ADHD being one of them, but every where I looked most places and research says that kids can't be Dx until there are issues both at school and home. For now I just had a emotional wreck of a 5yr old.

1st and 2nd grade were pretty much the same, start off really great but then it turned horribly bad, with behavior issues and outbursts and aggression. Towards the end of 2nd grade I finally got them to listen and agree to test him. I've blogged about it before and you can read it here and part 2 to that blog is here.

Finally the evaluation process is done. I was feeling good about it, I mean with all that Wolverine has done how could they not see that there was a problem......boy was I wrong!

Long story short they aren't giving him services, they feel that since he tested really well ONE ON ONE that he's fine. He's really smart, and at grade level and showed no problems focusing or any hyper activity.......ONE ON ONE. For those of you who have gone through the testing process, you know they send questionnaires  home for the parents to fill out, they also give them to the teacher and one to Wolverine to fill out. 

For the first time ever my answers along with the teachers answers were almost the same, we found him to either be "at risk" or having a problem in most of the same areas. But even this didn't matter to the special needs team. What a real eye opener was the results of Wolverines questionnaires....Now for those not knowing, most of the scores either have to be 70 or up to receive services, and others have to be lower then 30. But according to Wolverines answers he scored a 69 in the area of depression, so he's "at risk" BUT still they aren't going to do anything! 

I was shocked and shaking, and so pissed, that here they were saying he was "at risk" for certain things but since he tested really well he doesn't get services. No it didn't matter that they tested him alone, no it didn't matter that when he goes to class he refuses to do work and flips off the teacher, no it doesn't matter that he won't do rotations and so his other two teachers don't even know who the heck he is. None of that matters...cause guess what?!! It was all mine and Roys fault, we are apparently pawns in an 8yrs olds grand scheme to create domination and that may be a paraphrasing BUT WTF IS THAT?  All his problems at school are MY FAULT?!! I'm not even fucking there but its my fault.

Bottom line, I refused to sign it....I left shaking and crying. Got home and relayed all of this to Roy and then we just kind of sat there. I don't even know where to begin when someone tells me my sweetheart of a lil boy is at risk for depression. I don't even know if he knows what it do you tell your child that even though he knows he can't control what is going on inside his head and body that he's ok? 

So I pulled him from school, he's going to be doing this homeschooling online classes till we get the answers he needs. I can't let it go that he's at risk for anything and that the school refuses to do ANYTHING about it. Even as I sit here now writing this I look at the test scores and just cry, why or how they can let him wander the halls and look at him and know that this child is depressed or could be is a mystery to me. 


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