Till yesterday.....the school psychologist came by the house to drop off some paperwork that needs to be filled out for the testing to be complete on our end. He again reminded me that it was important that Racer needs to be in school everyday for the nxt 30 days because his IEP needs to be done by the 31st of this month. I also have the haunting words of his teacher when it was overheard her talking about me and Racer and what my excuse was for him not attending again.
Anyways its always been my belief that if he's not happy at school then something is wrong. He used to love it but now refuses. And I don't mean the usual whining and crying, these are full blown kicking, screaming, punching, refusing to get dressed, dragged out the door and down the street to go to school. And it makes me feel like crap when he cries because he doesn't want to go. So why would I even consider forcing him? Because I also feel like crap that he's not there and he's missing out on social opportunities and all that good NT crap.
So today was the day. 9am rolled around and I put that brave face on and dragged him out of bed to his favorite snack (tater tots), reminded him that he was going to school today. I was greeted with the normal "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL" for the next hour. When it came time to have him change to his uniform he flipped out. I had to force dress him all while getting punched and kicked (reminding myself of the greater good). Then put shoes and his jacket one again getting punched and screamed at (still trying to remember the greater good) Then literally dragged him out the door and down the street all while he is still screaming, punching (with his free hand) and kicking me when we stopped to cross the street. By now for me the teary eyes are starting because FUCK the greater good here. Why am I forcing him to endure a school day he doesn't want to be at?!! But we made it, got all the way to school, where he yanked the backpack from my hands and stormed off without so much as a goodbye. I understand he's mad at me, I'm mad at me too. And I really hope he gives his teacher a hard time today so she knows. And next time I'm recording it all so I can show her what we are going through in the morning. Maybe she's stop judging me and offer some sort of help.
